Potty Training Struggles? 5 Types of Kids Who Struggle and Parent-Approved Tips

Potty training is a major milestone—but it doesn't look the same for every child. As a parent, you might feel confused or frustrated when your child resists, regresses, or simply doesn't seem ready. The truth is, there are several types of children who struggle with potty training that I see frequently in my potty training coaching sessions. In this article, we’ll break down five common potty training temperaments that struggle with potty training and give you practical strategies to help each one thrive. Whether your child is anxious, strong-willed, hyper-focused, or highly sensitive, you’re not alone—and there are effective ways to guide them through this stage with patience and success.

1) The Hyper-Focused Child

Signs:

• They resist stopping what they’re doing to go to the potty (think “FOMO” child).

• They struggle to recognize their body signals for pee and poop, and may have difficulty noticing other signals, such as for hunger or thirst.

• "Bedtime is boring!” (they get hyper-focused on activities, resisting transitions).

• They may have Autism Spectrum Disorder, ADHD, or be neurodivergent.

Strategies:

• Help your child tune into their body signals for pee and poop.

• As a parent, model the skills of listening to your own body signals for pee and poop. For example, “My bladder feels full (while rubbing your stomach and bladder area)" and “That’s my body telling me I need to go pee. I’m going to stop what I’m doing and go to the bathroom.”

• FREE Printable Interoceptive Body Awareness Coloring Page For Kids

2) The Highly Sensitive Child

Signs:

• They cover their ears in the bathroom because of the loud noises, such as the toilet flushing, or the hand dryer.

• They wince when they have to wash their hands.

• They complain about the smell of the bathroom.

• They may, or may not, have Sensory Processing Disorder.

Strategies:

• Consider using headphones, or a Post-it note to block the automatic flush.

• Before they enter the bathroom, try applying a kid-friendly essential oil under their nose to block out the smell (Auracacia has some great options here).

• If sensory issues are significant, consult with a pediatric occupational therapist for additional support.

3) The Strong-Willed Child

Signs:

• Everything feels like a fight—your child has an opinion about everything whether it's what they wear, or what they want to do next.

• At times, it feels like you’re negotiating with a little adult.

• They stand out from their peers due to their intensity and strong will.

Strategies:

• Consider waiting until your child is emotionally ready for the potty training process. Read my article on how to identify potty readiness signs in your child here.

• In the meantime, focus on building internal motivation. Potty books, videos, and conversations about potty training can help lay the groundwork.

4) The Perfectionistic Child

Signs:

• They get upset if things don’t go perfectly right away and may avoid trying again for fear of failure (think: struggling with drawing a cat, or learning to ride a bike).

• They may be sensitive about being wet or dirty, which can resemble the Highly Sensitive Child, but for different reasons.

• This child may be the child of a perfectionistic parent.

Strategies:

• They may not respond as positively to the naked method or potty accidents. Consider using Pull-ups or training underwear, but be sure your child doesn’t rely on them as a crutch.

• Normalize accidents by talking about how even adults have accidents. Script: “Accidents happen—that’s how we learn.”

5) The Anxious and Slow-To-Warm-Up Child

Signs:

• They cling to your legs at a party before slowly making their way into the crowd.

• They may struggle to adapt to big changes, like starting a new class, or going to the doctor.

• They may have had separation anxiety as a younger child when starting daycare, or a new class.

Strategies:

• Gentle, slower-paced potty training methods (like Gentle Potty Training) may work better for this child, as a quick method (like the three-day potty training method) can feel overwhelming for them.

• Reading books, or “priming” them for upcoming changes can be helpful. For example, “Look, Daniel Tiger is using the potty. When your body is ready, you’ll be going pee and poop in the potty too! Yay!”

Need more support with potty training?


If you're still feeling unsure or need personalized potty training guidance, book a session with me for additional support. Together, we can find the best approach for your child’s unique temperament.